Updated: Nov 28, 2018
By no means do I have a perfect marriage but I do have a fun and loving one...
If I had to describe our relationship with one picture, this would be it.
I met Shawn through mutual friends, Heather and Mike. I can't say that I was immediately intrigued, lol. Shawn was going through a divorce and I was happily single. Not to mention, he ordered shots that "tasted like a Baby Ruth." He didn't have the best taste in alcohol but he seemed sweet. Never giving it a second thought, I slammed the shot and went on my merry way. I got a friend request on Facebook and had no idea who it was at first. I know it's terrible but I was not interested in dating. He started messaging me every once in a while and we decided to meet up for a drink. I'll start off saying it was a disaster. We aren't even there for 20 minutes and his phone starts blowing up. He excuses himself and returns to tell me it was his daughter and she was arguing with her mom and 3,2,1 soon to be ex-wife is now calling and he excuses himself again. I order a shot (tequila this time) and slam it before he comes back and I sit there saying "What the fuck" to myself. Don't get me wrong by this time I see something in him that I haven't seen in anyone else and I did have a feeling that we would have a future. I also knew I didn't want to be involved in that shit show either so after a brief game of cat and mouse, I told him that he needed to get his shit straight first. So like any 'Murican man, he started dating someone who was a shit show herself. We are going to jump about 6 months, I run into him for his birthday and he's alone so I decided to give him a piece of my mind. He broke up with the girl the next day, lol.
I realized that I really did like this guy and I wanted to give him a chance. We went on our first date, Tsunami. I really hate sushi but didn't have the heart to tell him because he was so excited. He picks me up in a Corvette and I think to myself, is this cheeseball serious?! He will later find out that I'm not into all that fancy shit, I just wanna be with someone who I can laugh and have fun with, even when it's just us two. From there it just kinda took off. What I fell in love first was how sincere and thoughtful he was so much so that I could see it in his eyes. He let me be me and without knowing pushed me to be a better person. I didn't want to lose him because I was a bitch who didn't need anybody taking care of her. We started talking about marriage about a year into our relationship and while I did know I wanted to marry him, I was scared shitless. I had been single for almost 7 years and I was content and happy, finally. My heart was fucked up from my first marriage for so long, I didn't want to ever go through that again. I had once given my whole heart to a man who was selfish and disregarded my feelings. Could I do this again? Will I fuck up? Will he fuck up? All of the terrible emotions of my divorce came flooding back but I LOVED THIS MAN! How could I treat him as though he hurt me when all he has done is loved me.
I wish I could say that I have this magical story to tell but I don't, lol. I figured there would be a helicopter ride, flash mob, or something. I mean the man once lined the hallway with rose petals and had this amazing bath drawn with wine and all the bells and whistles. Like, shit you see in the movies. So you would imagine my surprise when he dropped down on one knee in my bedroom while I was changing to go to my now step-son's homecoming football game with my friend, Rachel there to witness. Let me add that Rachel and I spent the afternoon getting our nails done and drinking soooo it was quite comical. The video is epic considering he took the wrong hand to put the ring on but I wouldn't change a single thing about it. Looking back, that was the perfect proposal for our relationship.
Our engagement lasted a total of 3 years before we tied the knot on November 4, 2017. Partly because we couldn't decide on a location and partly because I was scared. Poor Shawn would make comments every now and then but he was such a trooper through the whole thing.
While we have our ups and downs like every normal relationship we also have respect for one another at all times. We are each other biggest cheerleaders. We push each other to be ourselves and to chase our dreams. We make each other better people without even trying. We are a team that shares in the chores of the house. We take time to date. We understand the importance of alone time and how valuable it is to our relationship. We trust each other. And we don't talk bad about one another to others (ya'll better tell me if Shawn does). I knew the love I was looking for since my divorce. Friends would tell me that I was too picky, my Grandmother would tell me that I wasn't getting any younger, and my child would try to set me up with guys in Subway while telling me "it's time for you to get a man, girl". All of these things sounded true to me at the time and I did fear that I was being too picky but God knew that I needed to wait for Shawn. I never settled (boy were there are some idiots I considered) and I never gave up on the love that I was looking for.