Updated: Apr 9
It took me a little while to understand what was going on.
Hell, I thought I was going crazy and I'm sure my poor husband will agree.
Nope, it was just a mid-life crisis, as I approach 35.
"I thought only 40 something year-old white men had a mid-life crisis!"
I thought only 40 something year-old white men who bought Corvette's or brides experience a mid-life crisis BUT after a little research of my own; I realized that it's actually quite common for women between the ages of 35-45 to experience this same fantastic milestone.
The thing is, there is absolutely no reason for me to be upset about anything in my life. In fact, it's quite the opposite.
I am very happy.
My relationship is wonderful.
I have the best family and friends.
A beautiful home.
I drive a luxury vehicle, vacation often, and...
I don't work a normal 9-5.
And it was this very 1st world problem that sent me into a frenzy.
Random Person: "Where do you work?"
Me: "From Home"
Random Person: *confused look*
Me: [wants to pull out my google calendar]
I would freeze in situations like this, unsure how to answer. I even got another job because I was tired of feeling the need to justify an "occupation" to people.
I remember when I was 8 years old and I thought someone in their 30's was SO old. I remember that so VIVIDLY. I also remember where I "thought" I would be when I was "THAT" old. I don't have a purple low rider truck. Or the matching motorcycle. I'm not rocking a long braided ponytail, and I don't live in New York.
While I wasn't upset about most of them, I was upset that I never moved that imaginative little girl into a new city.
"I never gave her a chance to experience life anywhere else. I was going to be 35 years old and I've never changed my current city on Facebook."
I sulked, I cried, I was grumpy, I ate too much, and I didn't care about much. What I did do was the yoga and meditate, even when I didn't want to, and especially on the days that I tried to convince myself it was stupid.
Here's the thing.
We often lose sight of all that we've accomplished and get fixated on the "what if" moments. If yoga has taught me anything it's that; you always have opportunity, that you are never too old to try something new, and to always follow your gut.
Even though I've never moved away from home, I've earned some pretty amazing titles in my trips around the sun, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. One thing that I have always known is that I want to change lives. And, even though, I'm not really sure of exactly how I'm going to accomplish that, I'm pretty confident I'll figure it out before my expiration date.
I'm living my best life and here's how I realized it.
This is always the first thing I recommend to anyone.
Simply because, where are you putting all of those thoughts swarming around in your head? Majority of us have a really hard time expressing our feelings. Journaling is a great way to find emotional release.
What people don't realize is that a journal doesn't necessarily need a meaning. Get whatever is going on up there out on paper. Eventually things will begin to make sense. And it's nice to be able to look back and check your progress.
Don't get nervous.
Meditation is not as intimidating as you are making it out to be.
You don't need to sit for hours, you don't even need to sit. Your eyes can be open or closed. You can start off with a minute, two or ten and guess what? You're still meditating.
The main objective is to relax the body and TRY to clear and calm your mind. You're still planting seeds even when it doesn't feel like it. Don't give up.
Finding music or guided meditations can also help you relax.
Using your journal during mediation can also be a good to help calm the mind.
Meditation has become my jam and I would love to help you out if you're struggling.
I will not lie to you, some days, it consisted of me sitting on my mat in forward fold, taking a bridge, and a down dog, maybe two if I was feeling adventurous.
And that my friends, is one of the countless reasons, I love this practice.
Even though I wasn't giving it my all, it was a constant in my life and gave me something to be proud of while I was considering myself a failure.
If you don't practice, I suggest that you develop one.
There are studios and classes everywhere and you can even do it from home. There are a ton of different styles to choose from so find your favorite and hop on a mat!
One of the reasons I became certified was to help others find their yoga, if you're curious and want to know more, let's chat!
4. Discovering the Source
In order to step out the rut, you will need to get to the root of your "MLC" and decide if you are going to let it get the best of you OR let the best of you shine. Not sure about you, I would choose the latter, all the time.
For me, I regretted taking the safe road so many times. That I didn't take advantage of what I consider the "first half" of my life.
Don't worry that was just the area that showed up first, it isn't uncommon for it to bring up other things once you start the work. It totally did for me.
I should also note that I had two meltdowns in front the hubs and a few more when I was alone. This is total normal, promise. If you are doing it drunk in a bar, that's a whole different story. I'm not judging just saying try not to do that, okurrrr?
Now can you start to see why the first 3 steps are important in the process?
5. Light Your World on Fire
Unfortunately, I don't have the answer because this is where you take over.
I want you to do what you need to grieve your revelations and then it's time to MOVE ON.
Now that you've recognized what's bringing you down the only option is to start working towards a change. Whatever that means for you. New job. New city. New hobby. New relationship.
These are not unrealistic at all.
It's going to be easy to make excuses.
Fear will try to take over.
You might even doubt yourself.
But please don't forget;
that as long as you have breath, you still have life and
sometimes a breakdown brings a breakthrough.
I didn't say it was easy. In fact it's gritty, dirty work and sometimes it sucks balls but it is what we HAVE to do. It feels so damn good on the other end, promise.
I am a little older but I'm a tad bit wiser and I still have so much room for adventure, growth, knowledge, and change. I have accomplished so much and have even more to be grateful for.
I can't check a purple lowrider off my bucket list, yet.
Peace, Love, Yoga
Crazy Cajun Yogi